A special visit.

Last night I posted that Blackie passed away. I'm a firm believer that our loved ones that have passed away come back a visit in our dreams. Well I had a dream that I was at my friend Jo's house. We were talking and having lunch together. Then out of no where, this huge black dog comes up to me. It was Blackie. I was so shocked and so excited. He came up, licked my face, wagged his tail like he used too when he got excited. It was like he was saying "Mom, I know you've been upset and kinda sad lately. I'm here to let you know that it'll be ok and I love you." He looked so young and healthy. I wanted so much to cry. I didn't want to wake from it. Oh lord now I'm tearing up again. I wasn't prepared to say goodbye to him when he passed away. I was hoping to have at least another month or two. But God had a different plan. I only wish I were with him in the end. Once again God had another plan. (That's a blog for another day). But I am glad he had someone who he loved and loved him there. Lots has happened since that January day. Most of which made me turn into a hermit. I've not wanted to go out, not really felt like being chatty. My head has been messed up. I've been letting that anger get the best of me and I really shouldn't. I admit, I've haven't been the best friend or wife. It's like there's a dark cloud over us that just won't go away. Its hard to think positive when you think those around you are angry at you for some unknown reason. Every time it looks like things are getting better, *BANG* something else happens. Just can't catch a break.